Written on April 1, 2011. I had just started talking with Nathalia.
Pacing about piles of my clothing on the floor.
Thinking all these thoughts about how I wanted more.
Life ought to be lived to the highest of degrees.
As simple as that sounds, I still find it hard to please
myself in all the things that I do hope still to achieve.
Perhaps my lot in this short life will come about with ease.
Or maybe struggles are for me, my anthem through the fire
God, my hope, is comforting, while trudging through this mire.
David had six wives at Hebron who bore him children. And he took more wives after capturing Jerusalem.
Solomon had hundreds of wives.
Elders are to be the husband of one wife.
The Coming King
Why are people surprised that Jesus never married? Of course He didn’t. Who can God wed? Wouldn’t we wonder “what made her worthy to marry God Incarnate”? What about their children? Would they be called “children of God”? Aren’t we already His children?
It would take the focus off of Christ and His Father.
Of course Jesus never married. His Bride wasn’t ready.
Can it be true?
That I would find a girl like you?
A beautiful flower all for myself,
So precious and innocent, saved for me?
How can this be?
I know it is true.
Your beauty is great and runs through
your face and your hands and your heart
So pure and lovely, I can hardly stand.
And I’m your man.
Sometimes I like to write to you
And make a poem from the blue
to make you smile
and all the while
I think “I’ll end up smiling too.”
I’m living with a man who is living in my laundry room
It sounds a little sad, but it’s not as though I want him to
It’s just that he’s not wanted in a room.
He seems to be quite happy in his hellish holding quarters
His desk is made from tables and he hasn’t any drawers
And I feel like there is something very wrong.
If no one ever noticed that he never does come up from there
I think that we would walk around not knowing if he’s clothed or bare
And ignorant I’d always want to be.
Now for my friend I’ll always have great feelings of great love
and while he plans to leave us soon, I hope that God above
will keep us right beside each other
No replacement with another
but that we will always be good friends.
Happy birthday Brian.
I was thinking about this on a walk last year
I can go for hours without ever speaking, yet still communicating
that just promotes my behavior of living in this surreal reality dictated entirely by my expectations
where I’m never surprised
and it makes it easy to withdraw into myself
or step back from reality while “I” keep doing whatever it is that I’m doing
but it sucks
so I started talking to myself (on my walk)
And I talked aloud, because I hadn’t for so long that day
I wish I was saying this, rather than typing it
it gives you practice for actual social interaction
where you can’t edit yourself
I like to edit myself
I do it all the time
with almost everything I write
but that’s poor preparation for a conversation
you need the real talking to get better at not needing to edit yourself
that is a good point
and it’s beautifully written
I loved that line
“poor preparation for a conversation”
it rings with awesomeness
and I didn’t have to edit it
My Shepherd Group
That they would see Jesus clearly in the Gospel according to Mark. That this small group planting would be a blessing to each of them. That the pains and frustrations and anxieties they have will be assuaged in Christ. That my sin would be kept from harming them.
My Small Group (of 8th graders)
That they would really love Jesus, and know Him in a saving and fulfilling way. That they would see Jesus in me and the other leaders. That they would grow up to be men of God.
That the girls would be safe, and that our house would love them well. That America and her children would be safe and feel welcome in the neighborhood. That we could get to know Danny and Lisa, and the tin house. That Jason and Amy would feel blessed by having us across the street.
That we would love each other in real ways. That Ben and Tristan’s affections for the Lord would rule their affections for their girlfriends. That Brandon would be a blessing to Tobias and would grow in wisdom. That Brian would find a day job and be satisfied with being in Minnesota.
That my sister would find a wonderful job in Colorado, and that she wouldn’t feel as far away as I fear. That my other sister would find enjoyment in her job and she would not get towed anymore. That I would have more opportunity to spend time with my brother; I’m so thankful for our relationship. That my parents would continue to love each other more and more, and I could be closer to them than ever before. That my grandparents would be healthy and have a saving relationship with Jesus. That my aunts and uncles and cousins would know Him too, and the cares of this world wouldn’t grow up and choke out their fruit.
That I would receive correction well. That I would enjoy the Lord more and more every day. That I would find a woman who I can love and care for with the love of Christ. That I would care more about others than myself. That I would pray more and more.