Can I do it?

I wonder often about this question, though maybe not in the way that it would first appear. I don’t wonder about if I’ll be able to make it through the day. I don’t think about technical dilemmas I may face at my job. I’m not concerned with choosing the right clothes to wear tomorrow. What I worry about is purpose.

This is what I do: I wonder if what I’m doing tonight will matter in 30 years, I fret about wasting those two hours watching Liar Liar again, I ponder how to stay true to who I am while staying faithful to Jesus in all that I do, etc. I wonder about how I spend my time and what the point of getting into running really is. I wonder if I could ever maintain a romantic relationship with someone, much less get into one in the first place! Will I be a good father if that day ever comes? Will I love my wife well? Will I love my Lord God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength? Do I do these things now? How do I validate my beliefs? How important is it to be completely sold out for Jesus? Do I have to go all the way? Why am I wired the way that I am? How can I do my job well? Is this the right job for me? Am I living in the country God wants me in? Should I be involved with college ministry through Cru or help lead the 5th and 6th graders at Bethlehem?

I could go on all night with these questions, but what would be the point? The point would be for me to process them for myself. There are so many things that I wish I could be. Lord willing, I will become what is best.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s