This just seemed like a very honest word. Until the last paragraph broke my heart. I have a good friends who is adopted. Reading this reminded me of how he talks about it, how if his mom had decided on an abortion he’d be dead, how much his parents love him, how he can appreciate his adoption by God through his adoption by his parents. The Lord is moving in my heart; I think that if I ever am blessed with a family, we will adopt.
Bonding with your adoptive child is very different than bonding with your biological children, especially for the mother.
With our first three kids, my wife had nine months of literal physical connection with this child inside of her, another 9 months or so of breast-feeding (I am told this is a very bonding experience with a child), and the child most-likely looks very similar to one of the parents, so there is a visual bond as well.
With an adopted child none of these experiences occur. We had three weeks to get used to the idea from the time we verbally committed to the time we picked her up. No breast feeding, and this black child couldn’t look any less different than the rest of our family. (We are about as white bread as they come.) These factors contribute to the bonding process taking a bit longer. For me it hasn’t really sunk in yet that she is ours. It kind of feels like we have a precious little visitor in our home right now. It’s quite surreal.
None of these sentiments speaks to regret in the least, it’s just me being honest with some feelings that dance around the edges. I have heard from other adoption parents that this is pretty much universally the case with adoptive parents who first had biological children. It just takes longer. Nothing to worry about, just embrace the reality and be patient.
These feeling have been challenging, but I am left to ask this question as well: What part of our adoption by The Father was easy? Cross-bearing is never easy, in fact the cost is exceedingly great, but the blessing is also mind blowingly great as well. By adopting sinners, did not our Father adopt children into his family that were infinitely different than Him?