Conversation Preparation

I was thinking about this on a walk last year
I can go for hours without ever speaking, yet still communicating
that just promotes my behavior of living in this surreal reality dictated entirely by my expectations
where I’m never surprised
and it makes it easy to withdraw into myself
or step back from reality while “I” keep doing whatever it is that I’m doing
but it sucks
so I started talking to myself (on my walk)
And I talked aloud, because I hadn’t for so long that day

I wish I was saying this, rather than typing it
it gives you practice for actual social interaction
where you can’t edit yourself
I like to edit myself
I do it all the time
with almost everything I write
but that’s poor preparation for a conversation
you need the real talking to get better at not needing to edit yourself

that is a good point
and it’s beautifully written
I loved that line
“poor preparation for a conversation”
it rings with awesomeness
and I didn’t have to edit it

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